God of My Ancestors to My
God
Have you ever felt like talking to a
brick wall when you prayed? I
do. I was born into a pastor’s family and grew up in the church all the time.
But when I was in my senior year in high school, I felt like there was no point
to practice religion. When I prayed, I felt like talking to a wall. When I read
the Bible, I felt like reading fairy tales. I was not sure whether God is
really alive and cares about me. I had so many questions. One day I shared my
struggle with my mother. She gently listened to me and shared her story how she
met Jesus. She was also born into a pastor’s family and grew up in the church.
After she got married to my father, she had to live with her parents for a
while because my dad had to fulfill his military duty. At that time, my
grandfather’s church was experiencing revival and spiritual awakening. But at
the same time, Satan’s counter attack was also severe. There was slandering,
gossiping, and sabotage. One day my mother was alone in the parsonage, and one
church member came in a drunken stupor. Cursing and swearing, he was violent.
After this, she was so upset, so angry with him. But God gave my mother
compassion and burden to pray for that person. Reluctantly, she began to pray.
As she was praying, God showed her a vision. In the vision, at first she saw
that man’s ugly face, but then as she began to pray, the man’s face was turned
into Jesus’ smiling face. That was the moment my mother met Jesus. After
hearing her story, I thought, “Ok. Right now I don’t feel God. But because the
person I love and respect most says so, I guess I will keep searching!” So I did
keep on going, keep seeking. And finally, I met my God, my Jesus.
Quo Vadis?
In
today’s passage we meet Thomas. He is often called, “doubting” Thomas. He had
many questions. He had the spirit of inquiry. He wanted to know how and why. He
had been with Jesus and known him for about three years. But still Thomas just
knew Jesus from a human point of view (cf. 2 Co 5:16). He didn’t know who Jesus really is. He didn’t know why Jesus must suffer and die. He didn’t
know why Jesus had to leave him and the
other disciples. So he asked Jesus, “Lord, we do not know where you are
going. How can we know the way?” (v. 5) Jesus replied, “I AM the way.” He
didn’t say, “I will show the way.” The
answer to Thomas’ inquiry was the person of Christ.
There
are times when we feel lost and our hearts are troubled. There are times when
we are not sure whether we are on the right track. So we ask Jesus, “Lord, what
is your will in this situation? I don’t know the way. Which way should I take?
Show me the way!” But Jesus says to us, “You already know the way (v. 4), for I am the way. Believe in me. Trust me. Just stay close to me.”
In the wilderness what we need is not a map,
but a compass because the territory
constantly changes. In the wilderness of
life what we need to complete our journey is not religion, but the person,
Jesus Christ – the way, the truth, and the life. When we meet this Jesus,
we change from inside out permanently.
According
to a Christian tradition (the apocryphal Acts of Peter), Peter is fleeing from
likely crucifixion at the hands of the Roman government. And along the road
outside the city he meets the risen Jesus. In the Latin translation, Peter asks
Jesus “Quo vadis?” which means,
“Where are you going?” Jesus replies, “I am going to Rome to be crucified
again.” Peter thereby regains the courage to continue his ministry and returns
to the city and dies a martyr by being crucified upside-down. Jesus is always
with us. But the question is, “Am I with
Jesus?” “Am I following him closely?”
“Do I know him personally?” If we
have Jesus, if we know Jesus, we don’t need to worry about the way or the
destination.
The Holy Spirit, God with
Us
We
know God best through Jesus. Then, how
can we know and experience Jesus best? Through
the Holy Spirit! Jesus’ disciples had privilege to dine with him, talk with
him, work with him. How about us? Actually, we have the same privilege just as
they had! Through the Holy Spirit, we can know and commune with Jesus 24/7.
Jesus said to the disciples, “And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever!”
(John 14:16) He also said, “But the
Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will
teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you”
(v. 26). The Holy Spirit is the Helper (ESV, NASB, NKJV), the Counselor (NIV),
the Advocate (NRSV), the Comforter (KJV), and the Friend (MSG). How can we
describe this beautiful relationship between the Holy Spirit and us? As I was
pondering about this, the story of Dick and Rick Hoyt came to my mind. Rick was
born with an umbilical cord around his neck. He was born with cerebral palsy. He
is unable to walk or talk. At age 15, he asked his father if he could run in a race
to support a friend. Dick agreed to push Rick in his wheelchair and they
finished all 5 miles together. That night, Rick told his father, “Dad, when I’m
running, it feels like I’m not handicapped.” Since that first race, they have
competed in multiple marathons and triathlons.[1] Now we
will watch their brief moving clip together. [Moving Clip]
Neither
Dick or Rick are ready to retire yet. For me personally, as I hear and watch
their story, I see myself in Rick, the Holy Spirit in his father, Dick. We
don’t know what to say, what to pray, but the Spirit himself intercedes for with groaning too deep
for words (Romans 8:26). Although we may know what is right, we don’t have
power to do it. But the Holy Spirit empowers
us to live a victorious life in Jesus Christ (Romans 7:15-8:2). He dwells
with us and within us (John 14:17). And the amazing thing is that not only does
he push us in our wheelchair and keep us going, but also he makes us rise and
walk – walk with him, run with him!
By
God’s grace Thomas kept seeking until he met Jesus. Since Thomas met the person
Jesus, and especially since he was filled with the Holy Spirit, he stopped
wandering and questing the way. Instead, he was willing to suffer and die for
his faith. According to tradition, Thomas preached the good news in India and
was martyred there. Have you met Jesus? Do you walk with the Holy Spirit? Why
don’t we express the desire of our hearts with the following prayer:
Jesus,
I need you and I want to know you personally.
Thank
you for dying on the cross for my sin.
I
now invite Christ to again take His place
on the throne of my life.
Fill
me with the Holy Spirit!
Please
empower me and direct my life.
Help
me be the kind of person you want me to be!
I
pray this in Jesus’ name, Amen.