Mother Teresa
In August 2007 TIME magazine had an
amazing cover story titled “Mother Teresa’s Crisis of Faith.” Mother Teresa’s
secret letters were made public by her mentor and colleagues. The letters show
that she spent almost 50 years without sensing the presence of God in her life.
In one of the letters that she exchanged with her mentor, Rev. Michael Van Der
Peet, she says, “Jesus has a very special love for you. As for me, the silence
and the emptiness is so great that I look and do not see, listen and do not hear…”
In more than 40 communications, she compares the experience to hell, and at one
point she says it has driven her to doubt the existence of heaven and even of
God. As she was walking through the dark times, her constant prayer was, “Lord
Jesus, come be my light.”
Dark Night of the Soul
The truth is that the dark times
come to every Christian. St. John of
the Cross calls it the “dark night of the soul.” Here I am not talking about
the dark night that comes as a result of our sin or disobedience. Sin always
separates us from God. So if there is any known sin in our hearts, we need to
repent and turn to God. But this morning I want to tell you about the dark
night for those who are seeking after God wholeheartedly and harbor no sin in
their hearts, just like Mother Teresa did.
Isaiah 50:10 says, “Who among you fears the LORD and obeys the voice of his servant, who walks in darkness and has no light, yet trusts in the name of the LORD and relies upon his God?” In other words, it is quite possible to fear, obey, trust, and rely upon the Lord and still “walk in darkness and have no light.” It’s quite possible we are living in obedience but we have entered a dark night of the soul.
Don’t be surprised. When we go through such a time, Bible reading doesn’t inspire us. Preaching doesn’t move us. The hymn sing becomes weak. The worship service becomes dull and dry. When God graciously draws us into a dark night of the soul, we are easily tempted to seek immediate release from it or to blame everyone for our spiritual dullness. But in fact, that’s the time God is lovingly drawing us from every distraction so that we can see him clearly and know him personally. For me personally, the five years in seminary were a dark night of the soul. All my pride, fear, doubts, and unhealed wounds from the past were revealed. God did intensive work within me. It was so painful and so dull. During such a time Bible reading and prayer didn’t seem to help me. I even walked away from the church for six months. I blamed God. I blamed others. But as I look back, it was the time that God did a major surgery for my spiritual health and laid the strong foundation for pastoral ministry. These are the words of St. John of the Cross something to ponder[1]:
“Oh, then, spiritual soul, when you
see your appetites darkened, your inclinations dry and constrained, your
faculties incapacitated for any interior exercise, do not be afflicted; think
of this as a grace, since God is freeing you from yourself and taking from
you your own activity.”
Lazarus, Jesus’ Beloved
In today’s passage we meet three
people who are going through the dark night of the soul – Martha, Mary and
Lazarus. They were siblings and close friends of Jesus. They were like a family
to him. So when Lazarus got sick, the sisters immediately sent a message to
Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is
sick” (v. 3). The Apostle John confirms
this truth in verse 5: “Jesus loved
Martha and her sister and Lazarus.” So there’s no question about his love for
them.
When Martha and Mary sent word to Jesus, “Lord, the one you love is sick,” they had confidence. They believed that as soon as Jesus heard the news, he would drop everything and come running to them. But for some reason he didn’t. In verses 5 and 6 we find how Jesus’ love is much deeper and surpasses all our understanding:
“Now
Jesus loved Martha and her sister and
Lazarus.
So,
when
he heard that Lazarus was ill,
he stayed two days longer in the place where he was.”
Between verses 5 and 6, there is a conjunction woon, referring result or consequence,
normally translated as “therefore,” or “so.” Jesus loved Martha, Mary, and
Lazarus, “so,” he stayed two more days (ex. ESV, NKJV, NASB, NET). Basically,
Jesus waited two more days until Lazarus died. Jesus allowed Lazarus to go
through the dark night of the soul. Why?
If the purpose of God’s love is to make us safe or happy, he could do that. He could prevent Lazarus from dying. He could protect us from all dangers, diseases, sufferings, and losses. Please don’t get me wrong. God does care for our safety and well-being. But that’s not the ultimate goal of his love. God’s love is not that we be healthy or wealthy and live a long, comfortable life. God’s love is not God’s making much of us. No! God’s love is God’s saving us from self-centeredness, which is, the root of all sin, so that we enjoy making much of God forever. God’s love is always God-centered, not self-centered. John Piper rightly said, “God’s love is giving people God. God’s love is showing people God. God’s love is getting people to God. God’s love is helping people be satisfied in God and be willing to lay down their lives for God.”
Two More Days
What should we do during the dark
night of the soul? The first thing we can do is to recognize the dark night for what it is. Embrace it instead of denying it or running away from it.
As a pastor, it is my honor to be there for God’s beloved on the sick bed. It’s one of the most sacred places. One afternoon while I was sitting right next to the person on the sick bed and holding his hand, I realized there is a lot of similarity between “on the sick bed” and “on the cross.” On the sick bed we see a lot of raw emotion – a sense of aloneness and lostness. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” On the sick bed we often have visits from family and friends. We experience forgiveness and reconciliation. “Father, forgive them.” On the sick bed there is not much we can do. All we can do is to trust God. “Father, into your hands I commit my spirit.”
Henri Nouwen compares our spiritual journey to the art of the “trapeze,” especially when we go through the dark night of the soul. One day Nouwen had a chance to see the show. He always believed that a flyer is the star of the trapeze. But Rodleigh, the flyer and the leader of the troupe, said to him, “No, the real star is Joe, my catcher. He has to be there for me with split-second precision and grab me out of the air as I come to him in the long jump. As a flyer, I must have complete trust in my catcher.” “How does it work?” Nouwen asked. Rodleigh said, “The secret is
that the flyer does nothing and the
catcher does everything… The worst thing the flyer can do is to try to catch
the catcher. I am not supposed to catch Joe. It's Joe's task to catch me. If I
grabbed Joe's wrists, I might break them, or he might break mine, and that
would be the end for both of us. A flyer must fly, and a catcher must catch,
and the flyer must trust, with outstretched arms, that his catcher will be
there for him.”[2]
Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Not trouble, not hard times, not conflicts, not illness, not aging, not dementia, not the dark times. When you walk through the dark night of the soul, remember that God will be there for you. Don’t try to grab him. He will grab you. Just stretch out your arms and hands and trust the Catcher. Amen.
[1] St. John of the Cross, The Collected Works of St.
John of the Cross, trans. Kieran Kavanaugh and Otilio Rodriguez (Garden
City, NY: Doubleday, 1964), quoted in Richard J. Foster, Celebration of
Discipline, Special Anniversary Edition (p. 244). HarperCollins. Kindle
Edition
[2]
Henri Nouwen, A Book Excerpt on Faith, https://www.spiritualityandpractice.com/book-reviews/excerpts/view/17109
