“Honor Your Mother” (Exodus 20:12) - The 10 Commandments for Today II -

“Honor Your Mother” (Exodus 20:12)

- The 10 Commandments for Today II -

The Images of Mother

As we get older, the images of mother change accordingly. When we are 4 years old, we think, “My mommy can do anything and knows everything!” When we turn 12 years old, we come to the realization, “My mother doesn’t really know quite everything.” When we turn 18 years old, we say, “She is old-fashioned. She’s way out of date!” When we turn 25, we begin to think, “Well, she might know a little bit about it.” When we turn 40, we say, “Before we decide, let’s get mom’s opinion.” When we turn 50, we say, “Wonder what mom would have thought about it.” When we turn 70 years old, we say, “Wish I could talk it over with mom once more!” For me I frequently think, “What would my mother do in this situation?”

Honor Your Father and Your Mother

The Bible says, “Honor your father and your mother.” This is the fifth commandment. The first word is “honor.” Literally, this is a heavy word. The word dbeK' (kaved) in Hebrew means “heavy” or “weighty.” In the Old Testament this word is used for the glory of God, for the weightiness of his divine majesty (ex. Exo 14:4). To honor our parents means to give them the recognition they deserve for their God-given authority. To honor is to respect, esteem, value and prize fathers and mothers as gifts from God. The fifth commandment is not just for children, but it really applies to everyone. The fifth commandment is for teenagers. Sadly, rebelling against parents has become a common sin. The cover of one magazine for teen-aged girls asked, “Do you really hate your parents? Like, who doesn’t?” And the magazine offered advice on “how to deal with your detestables.” To honor fathers and mothers means to speak well of them to friends. It means to listen to them what they say. It means to talk to parents, letting them know what’s happening. The fifth commandment is for young adults. They have major decisions to make about education, career, and marriage. For them, to honor parents means to humbly seek their counsel. The fifth commandment is for middle-agers. Half of Americans don’t think that children have a responsibility to care for elderly parents. To Honor fathers and mothers means to spend time with them and make them a priority. It means to care for them to the very end of their lives. The fifth commandment is for everyone.

Honor Extended

Some of you may wonder what this commandment really means when your father or mother now passed. The fifth commandment is extended to those who have legitimate authority over us. This commandment applies not only to the relationship between children and parents, but also the relationships between wives and husbands, between employees and employers, and between citizen and government. The Apostle Paul describes beautifully what those relationships should be in Christ in Ephesians 5 and 6. At work, to honor our bosses means to work hard and speak well of the management. At church, to honor our leaders means to encourage them and assist them in their efforts for our spiritual progress. And to honor government leadership means to pray for politicians. It means to obey the laws of governments and pay our taxes. We often say, “I will acknowledge authority if my husband is trustworthy, if my pastor is spiritually mature, if my boss is generous, and if the government meets my expectations.” But we must honor them and show them respect, not because they are necessarily right, but because this is the right thing to do in God’s eyes (cf. Eph 6:1). Our respect is not based on their personal qualities or professional qualifications, but on the position God has given them. The Bible says, “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God” (Rom 13:1).

Pastor John Bevere shares his own eye-opening experience in his book, Under Cover. In the mid-1980s, he was offered the position of youth pastor at a fast-growing church. From the first day of work he started devouring youth ministry books and manuals. And he found that one church in Louisiana had an outstanding youth program. Immediately, he flew to that church and met the church leadership. He found that the success of the ministry was from home cell group ministry. As soon as he came back, he decided to do the same thing with his youth group. On the following Sunday, he met the senior pastor and got a permission from him. John trained 24 cell group leaders for eight months and was about to start home cell groups. But at the staff meeting, all of the sudden the senior pastor announced in this way, “We will cancel the home cell group plan. The Holy Spirit directs our church to another direction.” Of course, John was mad at his pastor. He thought he was right and on God’s side, but the pastor was missing it. After he came back home, he continued to meditate on how wrong his pastor was. As he stared out the window, the Holy Spirit spoke to his heart. He said, “John, when you stand before me in judgment for the time period that I have had you serve this pastor, you will not first give an account of how many youth you led to salvation. You will first be judged on how faithful you were to the pastor I’ve put you under.” With those words John repented of his rebellious attitude. And he called the senior pastor and asked for his forgiveness.

Unjust Authority

It is not always easy to respect authority, especially “unjust” authority – difficult parents, or spiritually immature church leaders, or incompetent politicians. Why does then God allow those situations? It is because God wants to know whether we really have the fear of God. God tests our hearts by putting us under the unjust authority for the time being, and he sees how we react. There is a story about this in the Bible – the story of King Saul and David. More than ten years, David had been hunted. However, He never fought back against Saul. He even had two perfect chances to take revenge. But both times, David spared Saul’s life. He spared Saul’s life because of one reason: He feared the Lord. He said to his men who wanted to destroy Saul, “The LORD forbid that I should do such a thing to my master, the LORD’s anointed, or lift my hand against him; for he is the anointed of the LORD.” David honored Saul by sparing his life because King Saul was the anointed of the Lord. David respected his God-given authority, honoring Saul because he honored God. God was very pleased with David and called him a “man after my own heart” (cf. Acts 13:22). God tests our hearts whether we truly fear him by putting us under his delegated authority.

Honor’s Reward

Our next question, then, would be “What will be the reward for those who fear the Lord?” The fifth commandment comes with a reward: “Honor your father and mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.” When the Bible talks about living long in the land, it is not simply talking about how old people are when they die. The expression “live long in the land” is a Hebrew phrase for the fullness of God’s blessing. It means to have an abundant life. It means to have an intimate friendship with God. In Psalm 25:14 David says, “The friendship of the LORD is for those who fear him, and he makes known to them his covenant.” About half of the Psalms was written by David, and it is assumed that many of his psalms were written during the times when he was pursued by Saul in the wilderness. Probably he was physically weary and tired in the wilderness. But, spiritually it was the highlight of his life because he had a more intimate fellowship with God than ever before in his life. David feared God by honoring his God-given authority and received honor’s reward.

In 2006 I began to serve a newly planted church as a part-time youth pastor while I was attending a seminary. At church, there was no other church staff, so I had several job descriptions: I did a church secretarial job, drove a church van, led a praise team, and taught the young adult group. As I spent much time with the senior pastor and got to know him better, I began to see his weaknesses and flaws in his character. I became doubtful about his ministry. From my perspective he seemed to run the church like a business. The church seemed to be driven by programs and activities. He was also very demanding of me. My complaints against him had been building up. After a year, I just poured out my complaint to him. Eventually, I resigned from my position and left the church. In the meantime I felt like my relationship with God was hindered by something. But, I did not know why. A few months later, the Holy Spirit convicted me of my disobedience against the senior pastor’s authority. God clearly revealed how I failed to show him respect with a sincere heart, and how I reluctantly obeyed him under his authority. The Holy Spirit said to me, “You were disobedient not to him, but to me.” I came to my senses. I contacted him and asked his forgiveness for my disobedience. Then, the hindrances were removed, and I was able to enjoy intimate fellowship with God again.

Under God’s Authority

Today we celebrate Mother’s Day. This is a perfect day to say “Thank You” to our mothers – our biological mothers, adoptive mothers, foster-mothers, and all the spiritual mothers who take care of us. This is also a perfect day to examine our relationships with those who are in authority. My prayer is that the Holy Spirit may show us the areas of disobedience to authority in our lives. It is not our job to pass judgment on them. Our job is to respect and honor God’s delegated authority. If appropriate go in person, or write a letter to them, or pick up the phone and call them, and ask for their forgiveness. Then, we will be no longer tied down under human authority, but we will be free indeed under God’s divine authority. Amen.