Leaving Church
Episcopal priest Barbara Brown Taylor was one of America ’s most effective
and beloved preachers. But after much reflection, she decided to end her
20-year career and leave the church. While she was in ministry, she always felt she
hadn’t done enough. If she spent enough time at the nursing home then she neglected
to return telephone calls, and if she put enough thought into the church
meetings
then she
was less likely to catch mistakes in the Sunday bulletin. Taylor said, “My
tiredness was so deep that it had seeped into my bones.”[1] To make
things worse, she was conflicted, internally and with the church, because of
church dividing issues, including human sexuality. She lamented over the
church. She said, “I had been wearing my collar for about six months by
then, and I wore it like a string of thousand-dollar pearls. Fifteen years
later, I was ready to hang it up.”[2] Now Taylor teaches at a
college in Georgia . And she says that
teaching school is saving her life now.[3] Taylor is just one of many
who want Jesus but not His body, the Church. Researcher George Barna describes
this trend in our society as follows: “We found that while some people leave
the local church and fall away from God altogether, there is a much larger
segment of Americans who are currently leaving churches precisely because
they want more of God in their life but cannot get what they need from a local
church.”[4]
Even today many people are leaving the church out of frustration rather than rebellion.
The Birth of the Church
Then, who started the Church? It was God who gave birth to His Church through
Jesus Christ – his suffering, his death, and his resurrection. In Matthew 16:18 Jesus said to Peter and his disciples, “And I tell you, you are Peter, and
on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of hell shall not
prevail against it.” (ESV) The Church is God’s idea for us to experience
the fullness of God’s kingdom here on earth. From the perspective of stewardship,
we were created for relationship with our neighbor, especially Christian
sisters and brothers, as well as with God. Both vertical and horizontal
relationships are essential to our faith journey. St. Cyprian rightly
said, “One cannot have God as his Father who does not have the church his
mother.” The local church is not optional to our faith experience.
My Story
I am a third generation Methodist pastor. So when I was young, I went to
either my grandfather’s church or my father’s one. Those two were my home
churches for 27 years. When I came to the US , for the first time
I had a chance to choose my home church. After much thoughts and prayer, I
began to serve one particular local church as youth pastor. Guess what? After
my first year of ministry I was burnt out. I was ready to leave the church. I
got tired of the chronically difficult people and the problems in the church. I
wanted to stay away from the “institutionalized religion.” So I did. For a
while, I felt freedom, particularly Sunday mornings. Some Sundays I attended
different churches that I wanted to explore. Other Sundays I just stayed in my
seminary dorm, listened to music that I liked, and downloaded sermons from the
Internet by my favorite preachers. I did my charitable giving to causes that I
believed in. And I also had an informal community of like-minded believers in
seminary. But about half a year later, I began to sense that for some reason my
heart became dry and barren. One Sunday afternoon I was talking a walk on the
campus. I asked God why there was a feeling of restlessness deep in my soul.
Then I heard the inner voice of the Holy Spirit. The answer was because I did
not stay connected with God’s household. In other words, my vertical
relationship with God was ok, but my horizontal relationship with other
believers who were assigned to me by God was missing. After this, I came back
to church.
Back to the Early Church?
So problem solved? No! After coming back to church, the problems were still
there. The difficult people in the church were still there. But this time I
seriously asked myself the following question: “What is the church?” And I
began to study the church history, particularly the early church. In the book
of Acts the early church was described as ideal for us to follow. All the
believers were together and had everything in common. They shared their
possessions and goods with those in need. Every day they got together both at
the church and at home. And they enjoyed the favor of all the people (Acts 2:44 -47). But then, as I continued to study it, I found something very
interesting. The truth was the early church was messy as much as the church of
today. This morning we read the part of Paul’s first letter to the church in Corinth . In fact, at that
time the Corinthian church was filled with problems. There were major strife
and divisions among the church members (1 Cor 1:11 ; 3:3). There was
sexual immorality among themselves (5:1). They sued each other (ch 6). They
divorced without biblical grounds (ch 7). They abused their Christian liberty
and caused new believers to fall (ch 8). They accused the Apostle Paul of being
a false apostle and gave him a hard time (ch 9). And the list goes on. The
Corinthian church was not loving or attractive. But Paul didn’t throw in the towel
on the Corinthian church and all other churches in the New Testament. Why? Because
he knew that church is family.
Church Is Family
Yes, the church is God’s household. God is our Father, and Jesus is
our Husband. And we are brothers and sisters. Let us think about the nature of
family. We don’t get to choose our family. We don’t choose who will be our
parents or siblings or uncles. Our family is chosen for us by God. In the same
way, we don’t choose our church family. We don’t choose one another.
Instead, we are given to one another by our heavenly Father. Justin
McRoberts says, “Being a Christian can sometimes feel like being in a family
with a thousand drunk uncles.”[5] But we
need to remember this: Like it or not, uncles are still our family. We don’t
throw in the towel on the family. As members of God’s family, we are called to stick
together through thick and thin. There is a significant difference between the
church and a club. The club consists of the “like-minded” people who have
something in common – school, hometown, interest, age, politics, or jobs. The
club members are kind of “natural friends.” So those who have different
perspectives, cultures, and experiences find it difficult to be part of it. But
the church is different. By design, God created the church to be made up of “natural
enemies” those we don’t naturally enjoy. D.A. Carson says, “Ideally… the church
itself is not made up of natural friends. It is made up of natural enemies…
Christians come together… because… they have all been loved by Jesus himself…
They are a band of natural enemies who love one another for Jesus’ sake.”[6] If we
are united because we are natural friends, we are not necessarily called “church.”
But if we are united because we are family washed by the blood of Jesus
Christ no matter what the differences, we are the church.
Living in God’s Household
As Pastor Rick Warren said, the local church is the classroom for learning
how to get along in God’s family. It is a lab for practicing unselfish, sacrificial
love.[7] Then,
how can we learn Christ-centered real fellowship and practice Christ-like love
in the church? This morning I have three practical suggestions for all of us. First,
I exhort you to start attending one of our small group settings where you could
actually learn how to watch over one another in love with natural enemies as
well as natural friends (1 Cor 12:25). Only in regular contact with other
imperfect Christian brothers and sisters, can we learn real fellowship.
Probably today you have got a bulletin insert regarding the small group ministry.
During the Minute for Mission time, we will take a moment to go over this survey
together. Secondly, I exhort us as a church to practice accountable mentoring
relationships. Particularly, I exhort us to practice a three-year term
leadership in our committees. Here is how it works: If you become a chairperson
of the committee, you would find another younger or newer guy and have him or
her under you. For three years you teach that person, work with that person and
prepare that person to be equipped as a next leader. This is exactly what Jesus
did. Jesus did many different things for his three years of public ministry.
But above all else, Jesus spent much time on his twelve disciples. For three
years he did teach them, train them, empower them, and prepare them. And after
three years, he said to them, “Go out and make disciples! And now you teach
them to do the same thing” (Matt 28:19-20). As we practice mentoring
relationships in our church, we will move from mere tolerance to love and
unity. Thirdly, I exhort us to express our genuine gratitude toward one
another. 1 Corinthians 12:26 says, “If
one part of the body suffers, all the other parts suffer with it. Or if one
part of our body is honored, all the other parts share its honor” (NCV). We are all
connected as the body of Christ. We suffer together. We rejoice together. So
this week write a thank-you note to at least one person whom you are grateful
for but didn’t have a chance to express your gratitude. Let that person know
that you truly appreciate it. This is an act of affirmation that we are
connected one another.
The church is a community of shared destiny through and in Jesus Christ. When we look on
the person next to us, let us remember this: We will be eternally united with
that person in Jesus Christ.[8] The
church can be sometimes messy, but we always have hope because Jesus Christ is
the beginning and the end of the church. So let us be encouraged by Paul’s
words: “And so I am sure that God, who began this good work in you
(the church!), will carry it on until it is finished on the Day of Christ
Jesus” (Php 1:6). Amen.
[1] Barbara Brown Taylor , Leaving Church
(HarperCollins, 2012), 108.
[2] Ibid., 114.
[3] Ibid., 227.
[4] Scott Sauls, Jesus Outside the Lines: A Way
Forward for Those Who Are Tired of Taking Sides (Tyndale House Publishers,
Inc., 2015), 42.
[5] Ibid., 50.
[6] Ibid. 54.
[7] Rick Warren, “Can You Learn to Love like Jesus?” (July 4, 2015 ), Pastor Rick’s Daily Hope, http://pastorrick.com/devotional/english/can-you-learn-to-love-like-jesus
[8] Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Life Together (Minneapolis
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