Life Without
John 21?
Now we are on John 21. This chapter
serves as an epilogue. Many biblical
scholars believe that John’s Gospel originally ended at the end of chapter 20.
In verses 30-31 John tells us the purpose of this book:
“Now Jesus did many other signs in
the presence of his disciples, which are not written in this book. But these
are written so that you may come to believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through believing you may have life in his name” (NRSV).
These verses have been the final
words of the original Gospel. Then, chapter 21 has been added a litter later,
because the Holy Spirit, the Author of the Scriptures, wanted to add to the
Gospel one more story – breakfast with
Jesus – for our good.
John 21 tells us a story of healing and restoration of Peter. When we think about Peter’s life journey, on
the surface it seems perfectly fine without
John 21 – Peter’s healing experience. But today we will explore how
essential it is for Peter and for us
to have this healing encounter with Jesus in our faith journey.
Peter: The Inconsistent Man
At the beginning of this book the
Apostle John tells us how Peter met Jesus for the first time. At first, it was
Andrew who was one of the two who heard John the Baptist and followed Jesus.
Then, he brought his brother Simon to Jesus. Jesus looked at him sand said, “You
are Simon son of John. You are to be called Cephas, which means Peter – “Rock”
(John 1:42). To begin with, Simon Peter was a fisherman. He was a common man. We
see so much of ourselves in Peter. Peter is you.
Peter is me. Peter is us.
In the Gospels Peter is a man of
many moods. He struggles between faith and doubt, between boldness and
cowardice, between the carnal man and the spiritual man. At one time Peter was
the first to boldly get out of the boat and walk on water by faith, but in a
few seconds, he was doubting and terrified by the strong wind and sank. Peter
was the first to confess the divine nature of Jesus. He rightly said, “You are
the Christ, the Son of the living God.” But, in a few minutes, he rebuked Jesus
when Jesus began to explain that the Christ must suffer and die, saying, “Far
be it form you, Lord! This shall never happen to you!” Peter was the first to
draw a sword to defend his Master in the garden, but within a few hours, he
denied his Lord three times. Peter is full of inconsistencies. Peter is you and
me. Peter is us.
Peter: The Rock-Man
Peter, however, is not always like
this. As we know, in the New Testament we have two letters written by Peter.
They were written about thirty years after these earlier events of his life. In the letters Peter is solid and steady
like a rock. He is no longer easily moved. He does not
fluctuate. He is stable, resilient, strong, and consistent. Even in the midst
of severe persecution he stands firm and encourages other fellow
believers. In 1 Peter 4:12-13 he said, “Dear friends, do not be surprised
at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were
happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ,
so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed” (NIV). Simon Peter has matured. He is no longer a
man of many moods. Peter is the overcomer of inconsistency.
Life With John 21
Certainly, it was not an accident. In
the meantime “something” happened to him. That “something” was his healing
encounter with Jesus in John 21. Even though Peter had seen the risen Christ
twice, he went back to Galilee for fishing, knowing that he would never deserve
to work for Christ again. But, Jesus was already there ahead of him, waiting
for him. Jesus made a charcoal fire and prepared breakfast for him. When Peter
saw a charcoal fire laid, perhaps he remembered the moment when he had denied
Jesus three times in the presence of a
charcoal fire (cf. 18:18). When Peter was asked a question three times, “Do
you love me?” he must have felt hurt, because it was so painful, so shameful
for him to remember how he disowned his Master three times. But here, you see Jesus is not asking the questions to
embarrass or humiliate Peter. Rather, Jesus is asking the questions to heal him, restore him, recommission him
to His service. Jesus has already paid the price for Peter’s guilt, shame, sin
with His own life! So the context of the question is this: “Simon son of John,
I love you. I died for you. I was raised to give you life. No one or nothing
can separate you from my love. Do you love me just as I have loved you?” After
his experience of healing and restoration with Jesus, Peter became a new,
different person. Now it was Cephas
rather than Simon. It was as a son of God
rather than the son of John.
Overcoming Our Inner Scars
Many Christians live a life without
John 21. They receive Jesus and become his disciples. And they ask God to
fill them with the Holy Spirit for his service. They work hard for Christ. But
they never deal with their inner scars. So their dark side becomes the holes
created by their own unmet needs. When they are exposed to a stressful
environment or temptation, they collapse – burnout, divorce, adulterous
affairs, burst of anger and physical illness.
It’s so important to acknowledge our dark side. We all have
one. That’s where our healing journey begins. If we want to overcome our dark
side, we need to start by acknowledging its existence. And oftentimes, our dark
side has been shaped over the years. It’s very helpful to examine the past for self-understanding, particularly our childhood
experiences that have impacted us in one way or another. Events such as the
divorce or death of our parents, rejections by peers, academic failures, and
other traumatic experiences during childhood and adolescence should be
explored.[1]
Yes, examining the past can be very painful because it brings us back all those
memories, emotions, and our inner scars. But that is our “Galilee” where we
encounter Jesus the Healer. That is our part – creating the space where Jesus
can come and heal us and restore us. There we invite Jesus. There we wait.
There we listen.
Let me share my healing story. I
began to serve as a student pastor during my seminary years. But without any
particular reason, I suffered from a sense of failure and inferiority. I didn’t
know why. I didn’t know where it came from. Then, I had a chance to attend
“Prayer Conference” around that time. While I was praying and reading the
Scriptures, God showed me my dark side. There were mainly two things. First, it
was from the relationship with my grandfather. He was the man of God, full of
the Spirit, charismatic leader. Wherever he was sent, the church grew in every
way. When I was called to ministry, people around me had some kind of
expectations that I would be a pastor like him. Those expectations became a
burden and poison to my soul. Second, it was from the relationship with my
father. He lost his parents during his childhood. He was always sparing with
words of praise and fatherly affection. So unconsciously, I tried hard to
please my father and make him happy. Those two major inner scars were still
affecting me as an adult. And I often felt like “I am not enough.” I found
myself often asking God to give me more spiritual gifts and praying like this,
“God, anoint me. Fill me with the power of the Holy Spirit for your service.” It
was so painful to see my inner scars. But then, I opened up those old wounds
and asked God to heal me. While I was praying, the first word God said to me
was this: “You are already anointed.
You are already beloved. I am well
pleased with you!” Yes, overcoming our dark side is a lifetime process. But,
since my encounter with Jesus that night, I became a new person. I became from
the defeated to the overcoming one.
A Wounded Healer
As I close, let me tell you a story
in the Talmud. One rabbi asked Elijah the prophet, “When will the Messiah
come?” Elijah answered, “Go and ask him yourself.” “Where is he?” “Sitting at
the gates of the city.” “How shall I know him?” “He is sitting among the poor
covered with wounds. The others unbind all their wounds at the same time and
then bind them up again. But he unbinds one at a time and binds it up again,
saying to himself, ‘Perhaps I shall be needed: if so I must always be ready so
as not to delay for a moment.’ ”[2]
So here in the Talmud the Messiah is described as the Wounded Healer – the one who must look after his own wounds,
but at the same time be prepared to heal the wounds of others.
Somehow we are called to be wounded
healers. Peter was one of them. I am sure he always remembered his two stories
as long as he lived – how he denied Jesus, and then how Jesus restored him.
Peter was a wounded healer. Because he was keenly aware of his weaknesses and
wounds, he was able to be a forgiving, compassionate shepherd for the church. The
more we are aware of the depth of our brokenness, the more we will appreciate
the greatness of God’s love and forgiveness. Jesus said, “A person who is
forgiven much, loves much. But a person who is forgiven little, loves little”
(cf. Luke 7:47). May the Lord give us grace to be the one who is forgiven so much,
healed so much, and so eternally grateful. Amen.
[1] Gary L. McIntosh, Overcoming the
Dark Side of Leadership (Kindle Locations 2129-2131). Baker Publishing
Group. Kindle Edition.
[2] Henri Nouwen, The
Wounded Healer: Ministry in Contemporary Society (Doubleday Image Book. an
Image Book) (p. 82). The Crown Publishing Group. Kindle Edition.
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