“Abide” (John 1:1-14)

Grace, Grace, Prevenient Grace!

This is my 9th year since being sent to serve the community in Aroostook County. One of the most frequently asked questions is “Why did you come to the US?” Or, “What brought you up here in Aroostook County?” To answer that question, I need to start with talking about my maternal grandfather, who was a North Korean defector. He managed to escape to South Korea, crossing the river by swimming just before the Korean Civil War broke out. But because of the hardships of life in South Korea he was considering committing suicide. But by the grace of God, he was invited to church by one of his friends and encountered God there during early morning prayer. He was then called to ministry a few years later. My uncle and my father were deeply influenced by the transformed life of my grandfather, and they also became pastors. I am a third-generation pastor.

Conversion

When I was young, I thought that I was a good Christian, because I was born in a pastor’s family and always grew up in the church. But in reality, I didn’t have any personal relationship with God. I believed in God, but my faith didn’t affect my everyday life and my daily decisions. I was the person in charge of my life. I always came up with my own plans, proceeded them, and then asked God for his blessings. But in those years God was merciful and patient.

One of the defining moments happened in the year 2000. I was in the army at that time. That year I was sent to East Timor as the UN Peace keeping forces. East Timor was a lonely island. There was neither the church in the Korean barrack, nor spiritual mentors. Instead, sexual temptation and debauchery were lurking all around. At that time God gave me burden to start Sunday service in the barrack. But, I ran away from the mission like Jonah did when God told him to go to Nineveh. After this, by his grace God allowed me to fall ill with an endemic disease, ‘Dengue Fever.’ There was no way to be properly treated because at that time I was dispatched to a remote area for three weeks. I was suffering from a high fever and had a rash all over the body. My condition got seriously worse. That night I could not eat anything, nor sleep. I became delirious from a high fever. Intuitively, I knew that I was walking through the death valley. I knelt down on a camp bed and said a simple prayer. “God, help me. Have mercy on me, a sinner. God, if you spare my life, I will humbly serve you with all my heart for life.” Then, I was able to fall asleep in peace. I woke up early next morning. And I found the fever had left me, and the rash completely disappeared. That healing experience became a turning point in my life. Since then, and for the first time I read the Bible from cover to cover because I wanted to know more who God is. As I was reading through the Bible carefully, I encountered the person Jesus Christ. I received assurance of pardon, and heavenly peace and joy overflowed. I did receive Jesus Christ as my personal Savior and Lord.

Abide

Another formative experience happened in 2018. I grew up in a large city near Seoul, South Korea. I had been shaped by a culture that equates effectiveness with significance. I was always encouraged to make an impact on as many people as possible and change the world. Effectiveness is a good thing. The problem is that I made it into an ultimate thing. That effectiveness-first mentality became my idol. So when I was appointed to Houlton and Hodgdon UMCs in 2014, my initial goal was to shake things up and change the church, the culture, the community for Jesus’ sake. But apparently, it didn’t work. As a result, after three years of my ministry there, I felt “stuck.” My sense of significance and self-worth diminished because I thought that my ministry was a reflection of my effectiveness, ultimately myself. And I asked myself: “Am I effective?” “Is my ministry here effective?” “Who am I if I don’t succeed here?” “When am I going to make an impact on more people in a larger ministry setting?”

Around that time, I had an opportunity to attend a spiritual formation conference. While I was there, God did speak to me through worship, fellowship, prayer and devotional times. The word given to me was “abide.” I thought I did abide, but in fact, it was revealed that what I did was to tolerate and endure, but not abide. I did not make my home among the people and the community. Then, God showed me what Jesus did: “The Word became human and made his home among us” (Jn 1:14 NLT). He chose to abide with us. He brought God’s kingdom to earth. Then, God gave me assurance that I was called to abide, not to change. That epiphany changed everything. That changed me.

 My pastoral vision is now to abide where I am planted. For me, it is to stay put, be present to people where they are and love them as they are. Jesus was born at a particular time. He ministered to particular people in a particular place. But his ministry was in fact a ministry for the entire world. He walked three miles in an hour. He met one person at a time, touched one person at a time. He didn’t heal all the sick. He didn’t solve all the problems. That was not his ultimate calling. But as he did teach, preach, and heal some of them so faithfully, he always did reveal God’s kingdom and bring the kingdom to earth. That was his calling. So on the cross, he was able to say, “It is finished!”

Here and Now

In the same way, we live in a particular place and time. It’s October 16, 2022, we live in Aroostook County, ME. We don’t have to wait, or we don’t have to go somewhere to meet Christ and to do his will. The risen Christ is now here in this place. This is our mission field. On one occasion a woman wanted to join Mother Teresa in Calcutta, India. But Mother Teresa said, “Stay where you are. Find your own Calcutta. Find the sick, the suffering, and the lonely right there where you are — in your own homes and in your own families, in your workplaces and in your schools. You can find Calcutta all over the world, if you have the eyes to see. Everywhere, wherever you go, you find people who are unwanted, unloved, uncared for, just rejected by society — completely forgotten, completely left alone.”

Where is your Calcutta? As Mother Teresa said, let us start with the person nearest us. Let us pick up one person. Let us love one person at a time in our family, in our church, in our community. And we will begin to see God’s kingdom right in this place where we are called and planted, saying, “Surely God is in this place!” Amen.